10 TIPS TO HELP SAVE YOUR SANITY
‘CO’ means ‘joint, mutual, common, together’ but is ‘CO’ possible when your ex is passive aggressive?
Passive aggressive behaviour makes the co-parenting relationship incredibly difficult and, while one of the most effective means of dealing with passive-aggressive behaviour is to simply ignore and pretend you don’t notice, this just isn’t possible when you are co-parents and there are children affected so here are some strategies to help save your sanity.
RECOGNISE THE SIGNS - learn the behaviours your ex partner engages in and how you have reacted in the past.
ACCEPT WHAT IS YOURS - you can’t change the behaviour of your co-parent / ex-partner. You can only manage your response.
REMAIN UNEMOTIONAL - if your ex-partner / co-parent behaves in a passive aggressive manner, remain calm, refuse to bite back or engage.
CALL IT OUT - name the behaviour for what it is. Hostility. Address the issue directly by saying “we have a problem.”
ONE THING AT A TIME - stick to one issue or request at a time. Refuse to move on until the first issue is resolved.
PUT IT IN WRITING - keep your co-parent informed (read: accountable) about the children in writing to minimise any “confusion” or '“forgetting”.
CONTAIN COMMUNICATION - keep communication businesslike and unemotional, solution focussed and assertive. Restrict it to issues directly relating to the children / parenting.
SET ROCK SOLID BOUNDARIES - clearly and assertively outline your boundaries and the consequences of them being crossed.
HOLD THE HIGH GROUND - don’t talk badly of your ex-partner / co-parent. Ever. Your kids need at least ONE parent who demonstrates how decent, respectful, co-operative relationships look and feel.
OPT OUT - if you find you simply cannot collaborate to build a functional co-parenting relationship, opt out and adopt a parallel parenting model instead.
Read more in the FULL ARTICLE originally published on Beanstalk Mums
